So...

I haven't written an entry in such a long time, although 2007 has been a rather eventful year.

I only decided to post now because, Lily (Tom and I's kitten) died today. I'm like... I can't describe it. I got a text this morning and it just made the day seem dark. I feel like I want to cry but I can't. I haven't seen her since January since she lives with Tom and his family. I missed her like crazy before but knowing I'll never get to see her again is just heartbreaking. I really dread going back to his house and not hearing the bell on her collar or hae her milk treading on my chest at night when we watch films in the sitting room. 

"she went out and the door went and a woman had hit her and she brought her home, and she had blood coming out of her mouth and nose, and she was gone within a minute or two"

So here is to Lily, our beautiful cat. May you rest in peace.

So me and Tom have been together for a year now.

Freakin' sweet.

<3

I may have a job interview by next week for Virgin Megastore.

So I'll be able to get cheap CD's.

YAY!

That's if I get it.

Won't see Tom for about 10 days.

Despite it being the longest we'll have ever been apart since we started courting it's not so bad.

At times we get a little "why aren't you here when I need you" it is pretty ok.

We are staying positive.

I think I'll use this time to catch up with everyone.

So how are you?

I miss some of you so much.

Love you guys <3

Everyone must know how much I abhore racism.

Well I knew about this beffore but now I've found the link, everyone can see how shit the situation has really become.

Now seriously? They are kids. And they have views like that?

Pfft.

http://abcnews.go.com/Primetime/story?id=1231684&page=1

I hate how obsessive compulsive I can be at times.

But right now I don't mind.

Listening to the same song over and over again doesn't bore me.

Maybe because I can relate.

And today I go on a journey.

I'm going back home where I'm supposed to be.

Somehow I am so settled and everything feels good for once.

I don't even feel anything for the person who I thought I loved.

I just feel love for the person I am supposed too.

And this is real love.

I'm so sure it is.

It's weird.

But it isn't.

It's strange how certain things just trigger off thoughts and they branch off and so forth?

Right now I'm thinking about all the times I wanted this person.

Ha.

Ain't I lucky?

I got what I wanted.

Usually when you get something you wanted for so long, and you finally get it you sometimes wonder why you wanted it in the first place.

I've never forgotten why though.

Over half a year of want.

Over half a year I gave away.

I thought I couldn't have him.

I thought he wanted someone else.

I went with someone else.

But it's crazy that it was always him I thought about.

But in the end everything worked out perfectly.

Well as perfect as things can be.

And now it's over a year, and nearly

Rather haggard pictures of me out in London, high on... God knows what!

( Haggard )

Golly gosh! I haven't updated in what seems like forever. How is everyone? I am pretty much ya. Just great. Summer has been beautiful and although I didn't do all the things I said, the stuff I did do was just... By far and away the best experiences ever.

I'm so in love with Tom it's sickening. I spent two weeks with him. And it feels like home. I shall elaborate later but now I just want to appreciate the greatness I've had.

I also liked how I hardly use the internet now. More time to meet random bums and lie in the park with my lover.

Love and miss you all

<3

Drop me a line yo'

( Why I'm so happy )

So, I've been going on about my cousin Jada. Well now it's time to see her.

( LJ World, say hello to Jada Maya Weir )

"Setting Fire to Sleeping Giants"

First off let me say you look so tired... rest your head and shut your eyes
Empty ambition blankets the sky... I'm thinking 'bout another world tonight

So drop the gown the game's over just push your face into the fight and it breaks my heart like dancing up all night
Ride so high we both start thinking 'bout another world tonight and it feels so wrong like nothing we've ever felt before

The stranger's candy takes you where you ought to be in broken alleys in the back of every street
Close your eyes tonight baby you can have it, baby you can have it

Ooh baby gnaw me down to the bone soon you'll find I'm never gonna take you back home
Well there's so much you never told me and there's not much I want to know 'cause your pretty face will do just fine you'll be the star of my very last show
Let's go for a long ride I'll show you places you won't ever want to leave

The stranger's candy takes you where you ought to be in broken alleys in the back of every street tonight

We could
Bring it all down we could bring it all down they think this body's a dead note dancing to the beat but they'll never see this corpse coming 'till it kills them

The lyrics. So true.

Ok, so last night I was watching a show on Sky One about gangs. The gangs featured on last night show where the Pen1 and Nazi Lowriders. They are from Orange County. And well, the name says it all. Nazis. Racists. Fucking disgusting people if you ask me. They are hatred embodied and it sickens me. And whats amazing is Pen1 are involved in terrorism basically. I always wanted to go to Orange County but if I did I'd fear my life would be in danger. These guys threatend to kill a black family. For no reason at all. Except, well they were "niggers". They said they'd kill a fecking twelve year old girl. Ok, so imagine thats your little sister or brother? It makes you sick to the stomach right? I acn't believe how these people flaunt their Nazi pride around like that. But I guess it's just the way they act. They act hard, as i they are untouchables. And thats basically because they are. Because they are "soldiers" or so they believe, of the white race. White race my fucking ass. I'm sorry that the white race has such disgraceful people parading around as if they represent the view of every single white person around in the world. And one thing that really irks me. The music. These people get kids to join in their beliefs because of the music they create. Last night a band called Extreme Hatred or something along those lines were being interviewed. Now the thing is the music sounds fucking good. It's just the lyrics that let them down. They are just another fucking Screwdriver if you ask me (Screwdriver another shitty racist band). Their music talks about taking back whats "theirs" and killing people. Sad thing is, kids these days are fickle. Most of them don't care about substance. It's all about image and "it sounds good so everything they say must be right". Fuck that kids. If you think you can go around with some fucking poseur neo nazi attitude then fine. But remember when you are shouting out "Zieg Heil!' you are taking a lot of fucking shit on your shoulders. The deaths of many innocent people who got killed or their beliefs and the colour of their skin. It may seem like a rebellious stint, but as they listen to this music, they start to believe the bullshit these people spew. But freedom of speech... We can't do anything about it. This is just a rant. I know it's got no solid points but I just wanted to get this off of my chest. Maybe tonigt I'll write a paper about it.

But I know not all nazis and skinheads are racist though, this is a positive to me. I thank God for bands like Leftover Crack and Ten Yard Fight. These guys are what we need more of. It kind of makes me a bit ill though, knowing that quite a lot of hardcore music is racist and people who claim to be hardcore don't even realise it. Le sigh. I'll stick to what I know. And now some songs to make me happy.

( Thank You For The Music )

Why can't I have a zombie sweetheart like this?

I love you zombie boy.

<3

So.

Pictures.

Not in the mood for talk.

So.

( Bear In Mind, We All Fall Behind, From Time To Time )

HOMFG FFAF SIGNING TOMORROW!

Like seriously, is anyone going?

If so respond to this.

Or if you see me tomorrow shout out "LEROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOY JENKINS!"

Or tap me on my shoulder.

Whatev'.

<3

I can't believe I'm sitting her in a sparkly yellow bikini thingy drinking wine from a bottle.

I'm such an alcoholic.

Or getting there at least.

Fuck me being an alcoholic.

I'm just pure rock and roll.

<3

Funeral For A Friend will be performing live and signing copies of their new album 'Hours' at HMV Cardiff on Monday 13th June at 6.00pm, HMV Birmingham High Street on Tuesday 14th June at 5.30pm and at HMV, 150 Oxford Street on Thursday 16th June at 12.30pm (signing only). Entrance to the events will be via wristband only. There will be a strictly limited number of spaces available to see Funeral For A Friend due to the space and time available. Wristbands will be available only from HMV. Cardiff - wristbands available from opening on Monday 13th June, Birmingham - from opening on Tuesday 14th June, and London - from opening on Thursday 16th June. One pair per customer maximum, in person only, while stocks last, subject to availability, at participating stores only.

Ok, I am going. Anyone else coming? :D

FFAF! FFAF! FFAF!

I am turning into a bit of a drinker.

Had a fabuluous weekend.

Was on the phone to my sisters ex last night.

Man, he has issues.

Will update later.

<3